June 30, 2008
June 28, 2008
content?
Question: If you died today, would you be content with your life?
This question was posted in one of those MySpace bulletin questionnaires that people do when they’re bored. Due to my apparent boredom, I found myself reading all the answers given by different people to this single question. As I expected, the majority of people answered the question with a ‘no’, and gave their reasons why. Though I’m not going to judge people due to the reasons they’ve stated, I do have to admit, some of the reasons given made me wonder if they’d ever be content with their lives. I thought to myself that the certain things people wrote down would only make me be even more content with my life, rather than fulfilling that certain goal would change me from ‘not being content’ to ‘being content’.
As I read through the question every time I was about to read someone’s answer; I kept finding myself answering ‘yes’. Why would I be content? Simply because I would feel that my life was a waste if I was to not be happy with it. Yes, there are many things I wish that I did or didn’t do, but there is not a single person that doesn’t feel that way. There are many things I wish to fulfill in my lifetime, I have my dreams and goals, but the things I have already fulfilled so far are still worth the happiness I deserve to feel, the sense of accomplishment. When I look back at those times I’ve just rocketed downhill, and I look at myself now; to know that I’ve been able to pick myself up from the lowest of lows and become the person I am now, I feel grateful that those experiences in life have made me stronger. I’ve fought many of my own battles, major and minor. I’ve won some, and lost some; but to know that I’ve been able to come through in the end, I have no reason to not be content with my life.
We are only human, we win and we lose, we have our ups and downs; but what is life without those little bumps and hurdles? Let us be content with our lives. If you’re not content right now, let whatever that is keeping you from being happy be the reason you can be even more content with your life; rather than not being content with your life at all.
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” ~Winston Churchill
Goodbye and take care.
June 27, 2008
words
The challenge for me when it comes to my writing is perfecting it. I feel the need to be able to bring across my idea or feeling in a specific way, and the piece itself is not complete until it is to the standard I want it to be. At times, I’ll re-read what I’ve written to the point that I can recite what I’ve written, the point of memorization. I like to write with emotions, depicting the feelings through words; and with that, I secretly hope that the words I write can mean something or affect someone on a much deeper level than just have them read the piece and believe it was good or well-written. Though I tend to stretch my abilities by having such high standards for my pieces of writing, it is the affect on the reader that really is the basis of why I write.
A friend of mine said to me one night, “I hope you know that… you know just the right words to say, they make me feel so much better”. For someone to be able to tell me that what I’ve said has affected them in such a way that they see things in a different light depending on their situation, or they’re simply feeling better is a huge accomplishment from the countless times I rewrite my work. I gain the inspiration for my writing knowing that I am able to write and make people feel a certain way about what I’ve written.
Back then, when I was an avid writer, I found myself writing a lot of blogs containing very emotional poems, letter and excerpts of what was happening in my life and the lives of those close to me. I now consider my writing those couple of years ago to be quite serious, maybe even too serious, because the pieces were so personal. I say that I hope to get back to my former writing ways; in the sense that I am able to get completely in-touch with my emotions and write pieces that are so emotionally serious that it could make your heart break or make a tear drop every time a word is read.
For now, I am content with how I’m writing; and hopefully, it will evolve into something more. To not just touch on the emotions like a ripple on the water, but to go beyond what I could ever write and feel. The day I write a piece of writing that will leave me in complete shock that I actually wrote it, is the day I know that I’ve accomplished something beyond words, an unacknowledged goal that has been looming in the back of my mind. In saying that, I know it won’t be a while until I am able to amaze myself with my own words; the experiences will happen, the emotions will need to be felt, and then, the words will come. As I near the end of this entry, I am sincerely thankful for my friend, of whom has been able to inspire me to write again, been the go-to friend, and has been one of the very few people who truly believe that my words do mean something more than just what’s on the surface. For having faith in me, for letting me pour my heart out to you, and for the patience and kindness you bring to my world and everyone else’s; thank you.
“What is uttered from the heart alone, Will win the hearts of others to your own.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Goodbye and take care.
welcome back
I never thought I’d come back to writing as a form of release. It’s been approximately three years since I’ve written a blog, and quite honestly, writing one now doesn’t feel quite the same. Three years ago, I knew what I wanted to type out onto the screen, I had no idea what was happening in my life, and I was in the process of losing a part of my life, and in a sense, gaining another. Things didn’t make sense, not once; but the words I wrote seemed to be the complete opposite. Writing was the one thing I’d look forward to everyday; whether I’d have one big rant, or it’d be a piece of joy and happiness, I always wrote, and that’s what kept me going.
Now, I have no idea what I want to write about anymore and most of life’s problems are sorting themselves out, but fortunately, the equilibrium and balance of loss and gain seems to remain the same. I gave up on my writing after I gave up on one of life’s “problems” to gain a new perspective, a fresh start, begin the next part of my life. Honestly, I found it hard to let go of writing, simply because I loved it so much, but it reminded me of everything I despised in my life at the time. The tapping of the keyboard turned into the scratching of the pencil against the paper. I was always told I had a creative hand, but it wasn’t until the end of my years of writing that I could really see what they meant. I said goodbye to the blog, and hello to my new best friend, the sketchbook. Ever since then, I have drawn anything and everything. I never really considered myself to be that good of a drawer, but until quite recently, I felt a sense of accomplishment in what I’ve been able to do.
I hope I’ll be able to write the way I used to; I look back and I wonder now how I used to write the way I did. Some of the things I wrote about just seemed completely beyond my years, beyond what I could ever imagine of writing right now. With this hope and belief that I will eventually get back to the writer I used to be, I shall head off. The sketchbook calls me and the pencil awaits my grip. As that continues on, my mind will be in a state of wonder and the words that come together to form sentences will hopefully be lines of amazement and beauty.
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.
Goodbye and take care.
