I never thought I’d come back to writing as a form of release. It’s been approximately three years since I’ve written a blog, and quite honestly, writing one now doesn’t feel quite the same. Three years ago, I knew what I wanted to type out onto the screen, I had no idea what was happening in my life, and I was in the process of losing a part of my life, and in a sense, gaining another. Things didn’t make sense, not once; but the words I wrote seemed to be the complete opposite. Writing was the one thing I’d look forward to everyday; whether I’d have one big rant, or it’d be a piece of joy and happiness, I always wrote, and that’s what kept me going.
Now, I have no idea what I want to write about anymore and most of life’s problems are sorting themselves out, but fortunately, the equilibrium and balance of loss and gain seems to remain the same. I gave up on my writing after I gave up on one of life’s “problems” to gain a new perspective, a fresh start, begin the next part of my life. Honestly, I found it hard to let go of writing, simply because I loved it so much, but it reminded me of everything I despised in my life at the time. The tapping of the keyboard turned into the scratching of the pencil against the paper. I was always told I had a creative hand, but it wasn’t until the end of my years of writing that I could really see what they meant. I said goodbye to the blog, and hello to my new best friend, the sketchbook. Ever since then, I have drawn anything and everything. I never really considered myself to be that good of a drawer, but until quite recently, I felt a sense of accomplishment in what I’ve been able to do.
I hope I’ll be able to write the way I used to; I look back and I wonder now how I used to write the way I did. Some of the things I wrote about just seemed completely beyond my years, beyond what I could ever imagine of writing right now. With this hope and belief that I will eventually get back to the writer I used to be, I shall head off. The sketchbook calls me and the pencil awaits my grip. As that continues on, my mind will be in a state of wonder and the words that come together to form sentences will hopefully be lines of amazement and beauty.
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.
Goodbye and take care.
