When the day ends and the sun says goodbye, what are you thinking about? Do you look up at the stars and search for the brightest one there is? The night sky stretches out across the canvas, with glimpses of white, where the brush doesn’t quite give that smooth stroke. With every breath, do you count the stars, one by one? If only you could pick one out from the millions, hold it in your hand, and then place it in a jar. Would you keep it for yourself, or let it shine bright for someone else?
It’s only now that I’ve realised the beauty of the gift God has sent to me. I doubted and I questioned, even when I knew I shouldn’t have. Thankful, is what I should have been. For a gift that could be so different, so amazing, so beautiful; I have no idea why I feared and kept wanting to keep my distance until it was right. I now feel that it is right, the time is right, it’s our time.
Last night, I had some time to think and read some things. I’ve often felt some sadness when I thought of us. It’s not because you make me sad, but because I’ve always been afraid. I told myself that things would be different, that I’d be alright; but I didn’t believe myself, or even you. It’s taken me a while to finally let whatever it is that’s been keeping me down free. These past few days especially, I can’t help but smile when I think of you. Things have changed for the both of us, and I know it’s been a bit of a bumpy ride from the beginning to where we are now. Communication might not always be our favoured path to resolution, but your presence is something I can’t get enough of. I know it may be more difficult for you to express things in comparison to me, but that very night you sent me your thoughts and the day you answered that single question, it clicked. Something clicked in my heart, and I can’t even begin to describe how much those words have really changed how I feel, a positive change. Sometimes I shed a tear because you are beyond amazing and I honestly don’t know where I’d be without you. When the times get tough, I want to be there to hold your hand, I want to be the shoulder you can cry on, I want to be your shrink and I want to be the person that can hug all your troubles away. Because the person you are to me doesn’t even compare to what I’ve just described, and the best I can do is try to be that person for you. But in saying that, I hope to be there during both the good times and bad. You deserve all the treasures in the world, because anyone with a heart like yours deserves nothing less. I know that this may not seem any different to anything I’ve else written here, but I hope you know that the fear is gone and I’ve overcome the hurdles that have been in my way for a long time. You will be in my heart until it stops beating because you mean the world to me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you for having a beautiful heart, and a beautiful soul. I love you so much.
On my darkest of nights, you are the one star that puts a smile on my face, warms my heart and gives me hope. Keep shining, because my world and everyone else’s would not be the same.
Goodbye and take care.
P.S – I didn’t want to mention ‘forever’ in this, but I think you know what I’m thinking about in terms of that.
